"Paying" Wait People

If we hired a babysitter, we would pay her, right?  (not that I've hired any babysitters for awhile, but I did, back in the day). If we hired someone to clean our house or work in our yard, we would undoubtedly pay them.

What I think some people don't understand is that our so-called "tip" to a wait person at a restaurant is not really an "extra" for "extra service". Maybe there was a time when it was...back when I was a little child, perhaps; I really didn't know enough back then to know. I do know that today it is not something to give them just if we feel like it, if our budget isn't too tight, or if we're in the mood. People who work in restaurants - who have to remember all our requests, who carry hot, heavy plates and trays, who put up with numerous complaints, who work on their feet all day long - are not highly paid individuals.  I once saw the minimum wage for wait people, and I was so shocked! It's way below the regular minimum wage. It's based on the idea that the person will get tips so therefore he or she doesn't need to get paid much by the employer. Crazy concept but it's how it works.

So, if we don't tip, or if we leave some insultingly small amount of money, that person may actually be short on their bills or have trouble buying gas. They might have trouble getting to work. They might have trouble smiling as they serve next time...especially if we come back to their restaurant. 

But what if we're short on our own bills? What if we ourselves have trouble buying gas?  Doesn't that make it okay to not tip - or to only tip a little?  Well, actually, we have other options. We can go to a fasts foods restaurant or to what I call a "deli restaurant" (think Panera Bread, Chipotles, etc.). Or we can go to a buffet, where it might be acceptable to only leave a dollar or two for the person who clears your plates.

Now, on the positive side of the coin, I know a lot of people who are very thoughtful as restaurant customers. For example, if they are going to just have coffee or dessert, they will tip as if they had a meal...because they sat down to a table, the same table someone would have used to have a meal. Likewise, some people, if they spend extra time visiting after the meal, will tip double to make up for the fact that someone else could not use that table (and tip) while they were there.

How much should we tip?  Please don't tip what your parents or grandparents tipped when you were younger. Remember inflation. We have been to a couple restaurants recently that automatically charge an 18% tip for five or more people.  That gave me the idea that we are not too far off when we automatically tip 20%...regardless of service (and if they automatically add the 18%, we "up it" to 20%). If the service was exceptional, we might want to add something to that and give more. And hey, it's an easy number to do (even for this numbers challenged woman). Just figure 10% and double it. But please, don't take that as a maximum, or as the amount for all time. Please do the research yourself, keep up with inflation, and give more if you want.

If we can afford to go out to eat at a restaurant, we can afford to tip. Let's do our duty, first of all, and then sometimes it might even be fun to make up for the people - and yes they do exist - who leave little or no tip. Let's have a fun evening for all.






Let Us Love Ourselves with God's Love

Minute Psalm Retreats will be a book of short Psalm verses, accompanied by brief meditations. I'm not sure when it will be complete and ready for your reading pleasure, but I couldn't wait to share my favorite chapter with you!

This is copyrighted material. Please do not copy and paste to share this post, unless you obtain written permission from me to do so. If you wish to share, feel free to provide the link. You may print for your own exclusive, personal use, if you wish.

*****

5. Let Us Love Ourselves with God's Love

Sometimes people treat us like we aren't worth much. Sometimes we even treat ourselves like we aren't worth much. King David knew better. After looking at the greatness of creation, he looked at how God made us little less than the angels, and crowns us with glory.
"When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have established; what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him little less than the angels, and you have crowned him with glory and honor." Psalm 8:4-5
Always remember that our worth isn't about trying to be better than someone else. It isn't even about what we accomplish. We are worth so very much just because God made us good and because he loves us. No matter what has happened in your life, know that God loves you and values you just for who you are.

Perhaps we have done things that we feel badly about. Maybe we have done something that brought suffering to ourselves or to others. God will forgive all our sins and comfort us in all our affliction.
"Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins." Psalm 25:18
Let us remember that God not only forgives our sins but truly cares about us in our affliction and troubles. Let us forgive ourselves as God forgives us.

Let us forgive others for their sins against us, against our loved ones, or against humanity.
"Blessed is he whose trangression is forgiven, whose sin is covered." Psalm 32:1
Forgiving others for their sins may be a blessing to them, but it will also be a blessing for our own hearts, helping us to find peace.

No matter what we are going through, no matter what someone has done to us or where we are in our lives, God is always with us. God does not will evil, but he can always help us through it.
"You are a hiding place for me." Psalm 32:7
If you are ever in a truly bad situation, ask God for help but please also seek help from others. However, if there are times when help has not yet come and we continue to suffer, let us hide ourselves in God's loving arms.

Do you sometimes have sadness in your life? David shows us in the Psalms that God pays attention. We can be gentle with ourselves and let ourselves cry or mourn, and know that God always cares.
"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle! Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8
As we allow ourselves to grieve, maybe we can picture God putting our tears in a bottle or writing our sorrows lovingly in his book...or gathering us up in his arms as our Good Shepherd.

Isn't it just amazing to think that someone knows all your actions and even your inmost thoughts? Even more amazingly, someone truly cares about all your thoughts...and still likes to have you tell them to him, to pour out your heart to him. You can never talk too much to God.
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar." Psalm 139:1-3
Dear God, help us to have kind and loving thoughts for others, but also to have kind and loving thoughts for ourselves too. Help me to love myself with a little of your great love for me.

Whatever weaknesses we have, whatever trials we suffer, whatever fears may haunt us, there is someone else, somewhere in the world, who is experiencing the same things.
"The Lord looks down from heaven, he sees all the sons of men; from where he sits enthroned he looks forth on all the inhabitants of earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all, and observes all their deeds." Psalm 33:13-14.
May we find, in our shared humanity, compassion for one another and compassion for ourselves.

It is so easy to judge other people unkindly, and even, sometimes, to judge ourselves unkindly.
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10
Lord, help us to have love, compassion, and respect for ourselves, and for our families and all those around us.

God made us; therefore, we are of immeasurable value.
"For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am wondrously made. Wonderful are your works. You know me right well." Psalm 139:13-14
Whether you accomplish great things or seemingly small, whether you are healthy or sick, whatever you do or you don't do, remember that you are valuable just because God made you, just because you are who you are. Let us love God for his great love for us.

As a parent takes delight in his or her child, even more so does God take delight in us. We are his, and the work of his hands.
"For the Lord takes pleasure in his people." Psalm 149:4
What a joy to think of that! "The Lord takes pleasure in his people!" He takes pleasure in each of us..in me...in you!

(All content except, of course, the Scriptures:  Copyright 2012 Margaret Mary Myers. Again, please do not copy and paste to share this post, unless you obtain written permission from me to do so. If you wish to share, feel free to provide the link. You may print for your own exclusive, personal use, if you wish.)


God bless you.  

Choose Your Foods

As I work on preparing the Myers Family Recipes book for publication, I think about nutrition.  This recipe book will be a culmination of 35 years of cooking for my family.  As a young adult, I read a plethora of nutrition books, and I decided on two things: take supplements and eat natural foods. I believe those decisions kept me centered as I watched the nutrition advice pendulum swing this way and that, over the decades.

Butter? Sugar? Eat them. Don't eat them. Substitute for them. Don't substitute for them. For awhile, we used only honey for a sweetener but then we decided to just eat these foods in moderation.

Proteins? Carbohydrates? Fats?  Don't eat too much protein. Eat mostly protein. Eat carbohydrates. Avoid carbohydrates like the plague. Cut fat from your diet. You need fat.  Over most of those years, my primary goal was simply to provide meals comprised of all three of those components and composed of natural ingredients. We ate lean meats, poultry and fish; used low fat dairy products; and ate whole grains, vegetables and fruits; with some pasta and occasional sweets added in.

In the past decade or so, as we dealt with some major stresses piled on like dominoes, I began to veer from that course. I added lots of convenience foods, sought comfort in an abundance of sweets, and indulged my soda addiction (high fructose corn syrup, sugar, or artifical sweetener? I've tried them all). My weight crept higher and higher.

So I began to look at books to help me with my weight, and to study nutrition, once again. But first I sought counseling. And I learned that I need to love myself. I know. Crazy, huh?  I mean, it's not like I was suicidal or  taking drugs or whatever. And I always knew God loves me. But I kind of thought my whole role on earth was to please other people (just try to guess what everyone wants of you). And you should have heard my self-talk! I still catch myself on occasion. I might silently criticize myself in a derogatory or sarcastic way, and then say, "Boy, is your self-talk bad!  What is the matter with you?!"  Oops, I think I should be gentle in correction. Yes, I believe that loving ourselves - which is not the same as being selfish or indulgent, but having a gentle, respectful, nurturing attitude - matters. I believe it matters even in our ability to take steps each day for our physical health.

And I have found that very attitude of self-respect included in some of the recent nutrition books that I have found. The other missing ingredient in my nutritional past was the importance of mono-unsaturated fatty acids, or MUFA's, as some say.  MUFA's, they say, nourish our brains, help us to avoid or lose belly fat, and help our heart health. They come in olive oil, olives, avocados, and some nuts and seeds and fish. And no, we don't now eliminate all other foods from our diets and eat these exclusively. (Heaven help us!). We need them only in small amounts. It's still all about balance.

And so, I want to share with you these titles, my favorites, my new go-to books on nutrition, in case you too might be interested in them.



General Nutrition, Food Choices, and Recipes:
Nutrition Diva’s Secrets for a Healthy Diet, Monica Reinagel, MS, LN, CNS, 2011
(This book takes you through the grocery store and through the day.)

The Perfect Recipe for Losing Weight and Eating Great, Pam Anderson, 2008
(Although the very title speaks of losing weight, this book is largely about nutritional balance.)

Brain Health , Weight Loss, and Recipes:
Feed Your Brain, Lose Your Belly, Larry McCleary, MD, 2011
(This explains the science of how MUFA's help your brain and help you to avoid or lose belly fat.)

Flat Belly Diet!Liz Vaccariello, MPH, RD, 2008
(This is the more practical book on MUFA's and how to incorporate them into your diet.)  




A Review of Little Saint Therese by Cay Gibson

I am feeling very honored by the  review of Little Saint Therese, written by Cay Gibson, author of Catholic Mosaic, Christmas Mosaic, and A Picture Perfect Childhood.

You can read her review of the Little Saint Therese book at her blog, Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks

Thank you so much, Cay!